Dove Conditioner - In love!

I've been co-washing (washing with conditioner) for the past few months, and I really think my hair likes it.  I would recommend you naturals try it at some point.  It may be something you stick with...or not.  Shampoo's can be harsh and scrubbing of the scalp often isn't necessarily (in my opinion).  I'll wash my hair maybe once or twice a month with shampoo...otherwise, I use conditioner to wash and cleanse.  Conditioner creates bubbles and cleans!

I think that the more gunky products you use, the more you'll have to wash.  I have found that I love Dove products because they are not oily or greasy.  Surprising, they are inexpensive and the work great with my hair.  The defrizz and define. I love the nutrient oil and just recently they have a new line of conditioner that I adore.  It's called Pure Care Dry Oil Conditioner. Although it contains Cetearyal Alcohol, I find that the oils and nutrients aren't damaging my hair at all.  I even have color on my hair!  I suggest you give it a try.  Oh, and I LOVE the smell!  Yum yum!

You can find it at Walgreens and any other similar stores....

Sorry the picture is blurry!

Make Time to be Alone

You know, the hardest times can be when we are "forced"to be alone with our own thoughts/feelings.

Just a few pieces of advice...

1) Your thoughts/feelings are valid.
2) Your experiences in life are important.
3) Mistakes must happen.  (For growth)
4) Don't make any life changing decisions without thinking it over for NO LESS than 24 hours.

Instead of fearing being alone, make time to be alone.  Get to know what's going on with you.

XO

Lyd

Beautiful Natural Hair!

I have to highlight beautiful natural hair!  Everyone check out my friend Tasha Maria.

She is fabulously natural.  Her cousin used flexi-rods, she air dried her hair, and used Jamaican oil to separate.  Isn't she beautiful with amazing curls?!   YASSSSS...go on gorgeous!!

Can a history teacher just vent a little bit...?

Our schools help create this idea of, "other" and "less than."

We use separate months to point out those who are "different" or "other" by highlighting that history in that month.... but we don't incorporate those voices consistently year round in our history lessons.  There is a month for Women, Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, Blacks etc....but by having these months, aren't we implying that this history is separate?

Don't get me wrong...this message is not explicit nor purposeful (sometimes).  It's implied, and I believe  a "soft," yet detrimental aspect of institutional racism.  Most educators are NOT out right saying, "let's learn about a separate history."  I know in schools, these implicit messages (especially when I was going up) made me feel like I got a month to feel special and learn about "my history," but that was it.  There was a play or short program where they selected the one Black boy or girl to be Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks.  We all wore Kente cloth sashes and sang, "We Shall Overcome."  I remember always feeling awkward watching my white classmates sing it...or not sing it...

It seems like history of peoples who were colonized, murdered, marginalized, oppressed etc. because of race, religion, and most of the time both DO NOT get incorporated into "mainstream" American History because of the real horror of that history.  It's getting better, but not where it should be...

We teach about the strength of the 13 Colonies and how they fought off their English oppressors but then ignore the evil and inhumane treatment of women, men who didn't own land and especially Blacks and other non-whites (I really hate that I used non-whites, but this blog is getting way to long), but we then celebrate our forefathers and the Declaration of Independence...wait, who's "daddy" and who's independence?!!!!  I know they aren't talking about MINE!!

...it's like we make that history separate so we don't quite make the incredibly horrific connection of HATE that link our lives together.

How can we pick and choose what to be proud of and what to "hide?"  How can we ignore the voices of those that built this country, died for this country, and were (are) enslaved in/for this country? 

My history is American History.  I think there is nothing wrong with highlighting oppressed groups during a specific month too - but make sure American History includes all voices not just the "easiest" voice to teach...the one provided in the text book  and do it all year round people!

Educators, facilitate the learning of a history with the many voices and perspectives that are all undeniably connected. Help young people see the historical legacies of our history no matter how terrible.

Helping young people (especially those marginalized) understand their truth, breaks chains and frees us from the burdens of their race.  When we learn that our destiny CAN be created by us, the expectations of being "other" or "less than," begin to disappear and we can see our innate greatness. 

Flawless...I Woke Up Like "Dis"! ...Flawless

Flaws are only flaws because we believe them to be...

The mind is powerful.  We are and can do whatever we think we can.  We are not and cannot do whatever we think we can't.  Besides from super powers and guessing lotto numbers, it's the truth!!  If you think you have flaws, than you are highlighting a perceived negative characteristic about yourself.  You are thinking it into existence.   It's NOT real!

I speak from a place of past self-hatred.  I valued myself so little I began to do things to self-sabatoge happiness. Hated the way I looked, talked, thought, my hair, my height, my EVERYTHING.  I felt the opposite of all things good, especially when it came to "beauty." Other people had to fill me up.

Not anymore!!  I affirm myself...daily, hourly, whatever it takes.  I'm full because I know how I feel about myself is all that matters.  I control my thoughts.  (Thank the Lord...)  I am consistently focused on being positive...and grateful.  (I mean I'm human, but I'd say a good 95% of the time!!)

When you love yourself, you put yourself first.  This is probably one of the hardest things we are charged with doing.  Ironically, everything in society continually preaches messages of self-hate.  Rise above my friends.  Know your worth, put yourself first.  Ignore the hate! Your flaws are NOT your flaws.  Everything that makes you you, gives you character.  You are beautiful.

Love yourself, and I believe others begin to see that in you.  You will begin to attract love.  Whether it's in friendship, relationships, or in your profession.

Ask Beyonce', she be FLAWLESS!  She "woke up like "dis"!  Flawless!"  .... and so did you!

I ask that you put up a selfie below my post on FB or here- one you love...and #flawless.  Don't be scuuuurred.  You're truly flawless....beautiful.

"Baggage-ed Advice"

As a person who loves and cares for her friends, I know that my friends love me right back.  With that said, I am a very private person - most describe me that way because I don't share much about me...often, or unless asked explicitly.  And there is a reason for that...actually reason(s), but here is one.

I have come to believe...

1). A lot of times friends give advice based on their own baggage instead of thinking about the best interest of their friend.

 OR

2). Friends, no matter how good their intentions are, can't give you the advice you need because they haven't walked in your shoes.

***Side note - sometimes we have to be careful who we call our friends ***

Being a friend and also one who receives advice - I think it's important for me to be in a place where I can share advice that is as BEST as it can be for my friends and also receive advice understanding the baggage they carry.  This isn't to say that friends will never understand....but I guess it kind of is... friends and those not in your head or your situation probably won't completely understand a given situation...even if they have gone through something similar.

My advice...as a sharer and receiver: use discernment and love your friends through their "baggage-ed"advice, AND definitely think about who you call a FRIEND.

"She did WHAT?"

Everyone has a story.

Nothing is black and white.

I hear these sayings ALL the time.  But, as someone who agrees that yes you never know what someone has been through and things are NEVER completely as we assume, I don't think I conscientiously, take this into account at all times in my actual thinking... which causes me to JUDGE.

Several instances I find myself judging others, not necessarily maliciously, mostly in my head...then being angry at myself when I find out how wrong I am about someone... "She did what?"  "He went where?"  "Oh, no...they are doin TOO much."

What I have realized is that most of the instances, (where I judge and then find out the real story) has to do with an area where I am insecure.  BOOM, said Lyds. Thats some serious self-reflection!!!

Be honest, do you do that too?  If not on purpose, it's got to be subconsciously.

I think it is important to be conscious of our judgements and where we place judgment because it is SO HURTFUL.  I understand that it's human nature.  But I think we judge to lift ourselves up (even when aren't even thinking about doing this...) Its a mechanism to help us deal with or (be in denial with) issues we are going through or trying to ignore.

Try to remember EVERYDAY and in EVERY situation that EVERYONE has a story and nothing is black and white.