Funny. Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in a semi-professional space, speaking with a manager about a future purchase and just asking questions because its a pretty big purchase. The manager shall be called Joe, he had to be in his late 40's , had graying hair, it was short and cropped. He was wearing khakis and a button up - a smooth talking salesman I'm sure.... Just so you can visualize him...
AnyWHO... we were all (there were 2 other people there) getting along quite well - joking and just having a great conversation/discussion about this future purchase.
After about a good 30 minutes, the conversation was wrapping up. Joe stands up, walks over to me and helmets my head...I squint my eyes and scrunched my shoulders preparing for a hair hug, but he didn't go in for the kill. I was surprised....!! He just "air-helmeted" my hair for a good 10 seconds and said, "awesome hair. It's really cool, I just love it." I wonder if I wouldn't have squinted if he would have gone in for hair grope.
Now, usually I don't think twice about situations like this, I smile and thank the person and then I'm on my merry way... but apparently this weekend was different. I got to thinking....
When is it okay to helmet someones hair...? I mean, is this what pregnant women feel like? I guess it's like a violation of space...more than anything. I think it's great Joe dugs my hair, but my initial reaction was scrunching my shoulders and squinting my eyes...almost in fear! I mean, what if I tried to helmet his hair, because his hair is not normal to me...? I mean, it's not! Sometimes I want to feel a person's hair...but I never do! I mean, this happens quite a bit to me! Is my hair that much of a spectacle, or do people just feel like they can touch it, or is it a spectacle AND people feel they have to touch it...!?
In any other situation, we teach people to keep their hands to themselves. Now, I hope the tone of this blog isn't negative, because that's not the intention...I'm just curious...? Really curious?? :)
You raise some interesting questions. I always feel a little uncomfortable about people touching my hair. It reminds me of the extent to which people view Black women's bodies (including our hair) as a part of public property (to be used, played with, questioned at will). Maybe I'm misreading it though, maybe its just about difference and not saddled down by our society's past and present battles of racial injustice. Maybe straight-haired people who are of one background approach curly-haired people of the same background all the time, and its just more socially appropriate among some groups than others.
ReplyDeleteWhat could it be...??I mean, maybe it varies from person to person. Maybe some feel they just can...and maybe others are just really curious and want to feel "different" hair. I don't know. I guess how we feel during and after an incident might tell us where people are coming from...
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