Lately...wait, you know what, I always feel like there is SOMETHING. You know what I mean?? There is just always something. At times, that something leaves the reminence of a nice positive, bubbly, even exciting and expectant feeling around me - other times, that something leaves a friggin annoying and nagging layer of smelly and super persistant frustration...
I feel like I am looking for the consistentcy of constant bubbly something, but never quite get that consistency - which frustrates me. I guess the nagging layer of smeely frustration is necessary! Hmmm, but it still sucks.
Right now, the nagging layer is winning. It keeps me thinking about it, even as I try to mediate and reflect on self-worth and positivity. It's like when someone says, "don't think about an elephant..." the first thing you think of is an elephant! BOoO..
I am a big believer in choice and not blaming how we feel on others...as it is our choice to feel that way - BUT sometimes it seems like the nagging layer is there before I choice to feel that way! AHahah Okay, today is one of those gray and cloudy rainy days...maybe the rain dragged in the nagging something...
Tonight - I look forward to an old Meg Ryan movie...maybe Sleepless in Seattle ...hmmm or No, even better Fried Green Tomatoes...maybe I'll finish Terminator 2. ahahahah
I'm so weird.
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